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A few years ago my office manager showed up late for work because
her seventeen-month-old son's baby-sitter had cancelled at the last
minute. (She usually brought her infant daughter to work with her.)
It was the latest in a series of frustrations she was having finding
someone to help her out for a dozen or so hours per week.
"I'm looking for the type of baby-sitter I was when I was
in high school," she said plaintively. "It's a constant
problem. The other parents in my neighborhood won't give me the
names of their good baby-sitters. They don't want them to be stolen
away," she added.
Parents searching for baby-sitters often receive a crash course
in microeconomics. If you're trying to hire someone to look after
your children on a summer morning or a Friday evening, you'll soon
discover that you've entered a seller's market.
But with teenage sitters, the critical variable may not be how
much money you offer or even what your children are like. Baby-sitters
often rate their employers more by the quality and abundance of
the snacks they leave than by the behavior of their children. (Having
a reputation for providing two pieces of cake, a pizza, or a pint
of the latest gourmet ice cream can sometimes mean the difference
between finding a sitter and not.)
Adults who baby-sit—not including those who provide full-time
childcare either in their home or in yours—are relatively
rare. While older adolescents may have the maturity and reliability
parents want, they often prefer to take jobs in fast-food restaurants
since they see them as offering higher status. That's partly because,
unlike baby-sitting, there's a minimum age for such workers.
(Actually, teenagers and adults can sometimes make more money baby-sitting
even through they may have a lower hourly wage, since they're
almost always paid in cash and seldom report the income on their
tax returns.)
That leaves the younger adolescents, who may not have the maturity
and judgment you want in someone who cares for your child, even
for a few hours. One response to the shortage of older, experienced
babysitters has been the development of formal courses and videotapes
that help early adolescents learn the rudiments of childcare.
Baby-sitting courses are now offered by the Red Cross, YMCAs, churches
and synagogues, and scouting groups. In addition to learning how
to change a diaper and play with a toddler, such training often
emphasizes what to do in a crisis, such as a fire or a medical emergency.
The courses include basic first aid and CPR, as well as elementary
work etiquette. ("Never eat the first or the last piece of
anything in the refrigerator" is a common guideline.) There
are also some programs on videotape that help young teenagers and
even experienced baby-sitters learn some of the tricks of the trade,
review emergency procedures, and give them some insight into child
development.
These courses and videotapes also provide teenagers with a much-needed
sense of status for what they're going. Young adolescents respond
very well to the "professionalism" that goes along with
a scouting merit badge or a diploma from completing a course in
baby-sitting. The certificates are tangible signs that they are
progressing toward some of the responsibilities and privileges of
adulthood. For many children, baby-sitting is a way to test new
approaches to relating to adults as peers rather than superiors.
Being aware of adolescents' needs to see signs of their development
into young adults can make hiring and retaining baby-sitters easier
for parents.
Here are some things you can do when you're looking for and
working with a baby-sitter that can make things easier for everyone
involved:
- Interview prospective sitters during the daytime, ideally
a few days before you need them. Be clear about your expectations
such as when they will arrive and what they will do for your children.
Talk about what they'll be paid and what types of food you'll
leave for them to eat.
Remember the adolescent's need for social status. The more
you treat them like employees instead of just children from the
neighborhood, the more likely they'll rise to your expectations
and standards, and follow your instructions.
- Ask specific questions about how she would handle an emergency,
such as a child who bumped his head, a small fire in the kitchen,
or a power outage. Also ask about safety issues, such as what
she would do if she were bathing the child and the telephone rang.
(She should simply let it ring.)
You might even ask her to role-play what she would say if your
child was injured or if someone knocked on the door. Remember
that your having high but realistic standards for the job will
often make it more attractive.
- Pay the baby-sitter to spend some time with your child while
you are there. Let the child get used to the sitter, and let
the sitter learn, for example, how you prepare your baby's
bottle or the rituals you use to put her to bed.
- In addition to leaving written information on where you can
be reached and information about the child's bedtime
and feeding, it's a good idea to show the sitter where you
keep such things as flashlights and first-aid supplies. You should
also write down and show her such things as where the fuse box
or circuit breakers are, where the shut-off valve for the water
is, and other emergency measures.
- Have an emergency information sheet near the telephone that,
in addition to emergency phone numbers and the name and number
of a nearby friend or relative, lists your name and street address.
During the stress of an emergency, a baby-sitter may give the
police, ambulance, or fire department her own home address instead
of yours.
- Give the baby-sitter a spare set of keys to keep in her
pocket. A pediatrician friend of mine who runs an emergency phone
service says that they regularly receive phone calls from baby-sitters
who have locked themselves out of the house, leaving the children
inside.
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