Although both children and parents worry about the effects of being
an early or a late bloomer, studies have shown that in most cases
it really doesn't make a lasting difference if you hit puberty a
few years ahead of or behind your peers.
One notable exception is girls who reach menarche (their first
menstrual period) between the ages of nine and eleven, approximately
two to four years earlier than the average girl. Menarche usually
follows most of the other physical changes associated with puberty
in girls.
These early-developing girls appear to be at a higher risk for
a poor self-image throughout high school. The physical changes they
undergo in grade school often make them feel as though they no longer
fit in with their classmates. They feel fat, and are uncomfortable
with the changes in their bodies.
Many of the girls who mature early respond by trying to socialize
with older girls. This leads to new discomforts and more feelings
of awkwardness and not belonging, for they aren't mature enough
to handle the typical behaviors of the older group.
Their bodies have outpaced their other stages of development. They
can't think in more mature ways. They're not more sophisticated
simply because their bodies have changed. They seldom have the self-esteem
and social skills they need to handle the pressures they may feel
from the older girls.
The best way to handle this is to encourage an early-maturing girl
to stay with her group of same-age friends. They'll catch up with
her biologically within a few years. Meanwhile, she's likely to
be perceived by them as a leader.
The few studies of boys indicate that for them, the timing of puberty
appears to have little lasting effect. Early-maturing boys, in dramatic
contrast with early-maturing girls, usually say that they're quite
pleased that they're becoming bigger and stronger. Late-developing
boys may have some temporary problems with self-esteem, but that
is quickly remedied once they have caught up with their peers. In
fact, late-blooming boys may be trading a temporary discomfort for
a lasting advantage. In one study at Penn State University, by twelfth
grade late-maturing boys had higher self-images than other boys.
Puberty is a time for many types of growth. It's difficult to associate
the gangly young man who's already two inches taller than you are,
or the attractive young woman who's meeting her new boyfriend at
the movies, with the baby you protected from all harms only a few
years earlier.
Parents may be confused and even frightened by their children's
behavior as they go through the physical and emotional changes of
puberty. Usually the physical changes outpace the emotional ones,
often causing parents and teachers to have unrealistic expectations
for these children. They see their children's developing bodies
and falsely assume that there has been equal emotional and intellectual
growth.
Yet emotional, intellectual and physical growth during puberty
is distinctly uneven. For example, a teenager's increased skill
at reasoning can be confounded by a lack of social skill when it
comes to questioning other people's statements or challenging authority.
He may think he's showing off his intellect, but to adults (including
you) it may come across arrogant or intolerant.
Teenagers can also be quite sensitive about puberty. Few families
celebrate the onset of these physical changes, which gives adolescents
the message that we're ambivalent about their new bodies and their
changing views of themselves. For example, one study of pubescent
girls found that two thirds of them said that they had been teased
about their breasts, with many saying that it was their parents
who had done the teasing. Yet many of those parents had no idea
that their daughters had interpreted their comments as teasing.
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