A few years ago, I interviewed an educational consultant in California
who'd noticed that his fourth-grade son was having a lot of trouble
completing what should have been a routine homework assignment.
When the boy asked for help, the father looked at the son's textbook
and discovered that all of the answers he needed were in one chapter.
He pointed this out to his son, who replied, "The teacher said
to answer the questions. She didn't say we had to read the chapter,
too!"
To many children, homework is regarded as little more than a curse.
They ignore, avoid, forget, or rush through it with obvious distaste.
It's little wonder why. Most homework assigned in elementary school
consists of drills and worksheets, with no obvious connection to
the child's life and needs outside of school. Even the reasons behind
more creative homework assignments, such as writing a book report,
are unclear to most children. Is it a test of whether she actually
read the book, or a request for her opinion and analysis?
Researchers have recently begun paying increased attention to
the effect of homework in elementary school on children's later
academic success. Although most public schools don't begin assigning
regular homework until the fifth or sixth grade, there's strong
evidence that children who do homework in the earlier grades tend
to do better as they progress through school. A child who's hit
with her first serious homework assignment in junior high—something
that happens all too often—will probably have a lot of difficult
breaking the task into components and organizing her work.
The usefulness of early homework doesn't mean that a second grader
should have to stay up late completing worksheets of subtraction
problems. One good rule of thumb is that students should spend about
ten minutes per grade level studying on weekdays. Thus, a first
grader should have about ten minutes of homework per night; a sixth
grader should have about an hour. If your child has little or no
homework assigned, she should spend that time studying. (This also
helps her avoid the temptation to rush through her arithmetic problems—"See,
Mom, I'm finished!"—so that she can watch her favorite
television program.
Knowing when and how to help your children with their school projects
and homework is as much an art as a science. The things they learn
from your involvement often have more to do with their self-image
and your relationship than with the topic of the assignment. Ideally,
by working together you can help improve their skills and reinforce
the value you put on schoolwork.
Children under ten years of age usually require a lot of involvement—but
not necessarily help—from their parents. Much of that involvement
focuses on the mechanics of homework: reminding them of their study
time, checking their assignments, and sometimes even sitting down
with them to make sure they get started.
While it's important that you stay involved, you have to stop
short of going too far by actually doing your child's assignments.
(After all, do you really need to repeat the fourth grade?) While
almost always well-intentioned, doing a homework assignment for
a child can backfire, because it gives her the message that she's
fundamentally incompetent and will not be able to do this type of
work on her own. Instead, you should respect your child's need to
struggle with problems and master them. If you find, however, that
your child simply can't do the assignment or is totally baffled
by it, call up her teacher immediately so that the underlying problem
doesn't get any worse.
When you assume the role of a homework coach, bear in mind that
your child will be very sensitive to what you say. In fact, your
child wants to please you so much that she'll react much more dramatically
to your criticism than the same criticism from her teacher. (If
you'd like an analogy, think about getting feedback on your driving
skills or tennis game from your spouse as opposed to a professional
instructor.)
Although it may be tempting to rush in with help when you see
your child is having trouble, try not to do so. Instead, let your
child know that you're available if she wants you. Let her control
whether, when and how she asks for your help.
For children in early elementary school, the best support may
involve little more than giving them healthful meals (it's hard
to concentrate if your stomach is empty) and a quiet place to work.
Praise them while reading over or listening to their homework. When
they're slightly older and more accomplished, you can offer specific
advice and, when appropriate, quiz them on material they're trying
to master.
When children ask for help, gentle support and encouragement are
more effective than pointing out all the things they could improve.
It's important to let them "own" the project, even though
you could do a better job. During the first few grades especially,
you may feel compelled to correct a misspelled word on her writing
assignment, but it's almost always better not to make the change.
This doesn't mean you should never pay attention to or correct her
spelling or grammar. But in these early years, these details are
less important than the task of organizing and writing down her
thoughts.
Remember that your goal is to have your child come away from showing
you her homework believing that she's successful and accepted by
you. By overlooking the minor mistakes and focusing on her larger
accomplishments, you'll help her gain the confidence she needs to
take on more complicated tasks as she moves through school.
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