Social scientists who study how children interact in different
cultures have found remarkable similarities in the timing and nature
of teasing around the world. The see the same fundamental patterns
among such groups as inner city children in Philadelphia, aborigine
children in Australia,rural children in Europe and elsewhere.
This raises an interesting question: What is the social purpose
of teasing? According to those researchers, teasing seems to serve
several purposes, some of which at first appear to be contradictory.
Teasing helps define a social group. Although we usually don't
think of teasing as a way to exclude people or label them as outsiders,
mutual teasing can help define who's in a group and who isn't. Take
a moment to think about who teases you and whom you tease as an
adult. Odds are they're your friends. A friend can get away with
making apparently insulting comments to you that a stranger cannot.
The act of teasing, at least among adults and adolescents, is a
statement about the strength of your relationship. It is a way of
saying that you're in the same social group.
We first see teasing among toddlers. A two-year-old may hold out
a toy to a playmate, but quickly pull it back as the other child
reaches for it. This silent tease is more than a matter of selfishness.
It's a way for the child to test his power and see how it compares
with the power of those around him.
Within a few years, teases start involving words as well as actions.
Many younger preschoolers enjoy being teased verbally--as long as
they're sure it's a game. For example, if you tease a four-year-old
by saying that his favorite blue shirt is really pink, he'll probably
giggle. He feels confident in his mastery of the names of colors,
and finds your using the wrong name very funny. If, however, you
become serious and insist that his blue shirt really is pink, he'll
become upset and may even burst into tears.
One possible explanation for this is that a child this age does
not understand the abstract nature of color--that it is something
separate from the object itself. The idea that a blue shirt might
be pink is too confusing to a young preschooler. An older child
who understands this notion would not cry if you insisted that the
blue shirt was pink. Instead, she might counter that it's really
white or that it's actually a pair of pants. Her stronger skill
at abstract thinking allows her to continue the teasing.
When preschoolers tease each other verbally, the content of their
teases reflect the issues that they're struggling to master in their
own lives, such as toilet-training, aggression, fears and power.
The targets of such teasing are usually whomever is nearby. This
is quite different from the teasing done by school-age children,
whose taunts are often triggered by a physical attribute of the
person being teased, such as being overweight, wearing thick glasses,
or having freckles.
These early teases are a way for preschoolers to practice such
social skills as timing and discretion, and to measure the effects
of their words on other people. As they quickly learn, calling a
classmate a "dum-dum" will yield different results than calling
a parent or teacher the same name. It is a lesson remembered.
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